Bad Body Double

Okay, today it feels real. Like really real. A week from now, I will be in my own apartment in Baoding, China. A week later, I will begin teaching college classes (who knew it was this easy to graduate from college then turn around and teach people your age?). Of course I am nervous about all of this; however, I see it more as an 'adventive adventure' than something to be afraid of.

Now let me tell you the silliest reason I had the tiniest inkling to leave for China three or so days later than I am. Imogen Heap, my favorite musician, releases her third solo album Tuesday, August 25th. Ellipse, my most anticipated album EVER!, already sounds fantastic because Immi has made two of the songs available for download (First Train Home and Canvas). Ok...I'll come back to Ellipse later. Back to my last Monday in the USA...

Admittedly, what started out as a boring day turned into an emotionally eventful one for me. I tried on clothes, tossing aside pants I have not worn in ages, and stored my hammock, SAC chair, and didgeridoo in my closet. Finally, I found enough energy to dress for the day and had lunch with my mom and Aunt Peggy at Chili's. After, we shopped at Wal-mart for all the last minute things I need to pack for China. I started getting grumpy and exhausted (okay...I went to bed at 2am after finding 30 second clips of Imogen's new songs. My slight headache right now as I write is probably a direct result of this lack of sleep too). My emotional rollercoaster of the day continued as I had to say goodbye to my Aunt Peggy (knowing I won't be able to be with my family for almost a year is a tought idea to wrap my head around). Umm, so, the other thing that happened to me today was the fact that I fell down the stairs...while eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (covered in the last of our reese's shell, mind you!). I gracefully missed two steps and walked away unscathed except for a hurt toe and butt cheek. Wait...why am I sharing this again?

I actually did have a good day spending time with my mom and going out to eat with my aunt. It's just that saying bye to a close family member and buying everything left on my list made the idea of me leaving the country sink in. Two things definitely picked up my spirits though. My parents and I watched Hotel for Dogs this afternoon. It surprised me with how much I actually enjoyed it but I would have been just fine watching all the little puppies run around for 100 minutes! (okay, they are not 'puppies' per se, but I call dogs of all sizes and ages 'puppies'). The second pick-me-up is the fact Imogen Heap is streaming her full album online right now!

See, I knew what I was doing when I mentioned Imogen Heap's upcoming album earlier, hahaha. Does it sound like I am obsessed at this point? I am listening to the album as I write this blog. The song 'Bad Body Double' just finished playing and it is currently my favorite. Even though I haven't even listened to every song. The whole idea of the song is how we each have a 'bad body double' aka a negative self image of our bodies and he/she shows up every once in a while. My favorite lyric is "We look very similar, except she's got some greys, and a little extra weight on the sides, and dimply thighs."

We all go through phases of being body concious but I thought maybe each of our 'bad body doubles' could even go as far as to summarize all of our negative thoughts, fears, and anxieties. Sure, I have a "bad body double" full of nerves about everything attached to teaching for a year in China. I think I analyzed some of those pretty well in my first blog. However, the best moments in our lives are when we have plenty of fears yet still follow the path we know we are meant to follow. This often brings us to our grandest memories. I hope you keep this in mind the next time you are on the verge of taking a plunge into an exciting and 'adventive adventure.'

Personally, I can already see my "bad body double" (full of negative thoughts and anxieties) disappearing as I walk off the plane in Beijing.

This time, I leave you with Imogen Heap's third solo album, Ellipse, streaming in full online.